Cause I love me, I love me enough for the both of us. That's why you trust me, I know you been through more than most of us. So what are you, what are you, what are you so afraid of ? Darling you, you give but you cannot take love.

“Swanging, eyes closed just swanging
Same city, same friends if you’re looking for me
Same city, same friends if you’re looking
I’ll be here just swanging
Don’t talk to me like I’m famous
And don’t assume cause I don’t respect assumptions babe
I’m just tryna connect with somethin’ babe

—   Drake


there’s a good reason these tables are numbered honey you just haven’t thought of the song title yet


i’d like to remind the defendant that he is under oath and therefore must tell me if i look cute in this judge wig

(Source: meladoodle, via afternoonsnoozebutton)

"Being alone with your feelings is the worst because you have nowhere to run. They’re here dancing in your mind and all you can do is handle."
Thanks for the love (:
Late Night Transformation Tuesday (:
It’s official (; haha

Ruptured Appendix

Well on the 26th of January, I ate some ice cream and I felt really bad after. I thought it was just being lactose intolerant so I figured I’d just puke it up and feel better. I puked all night and my stomach hurt so freaking bad. That week I still was in ridiculous pain, it was hard just to get from my bed to the bathroom.

I ditched classes that week because I didn’t think I could go between puking and the weirdest liquid diarrhea ever! TMI I know but it was really weird.

So that next week, I was like I can’t miss more class but I was still feeling sick. I just wasn’t puking as much because I had only been drinking water and like ginger ale. So I actually went to class on Monday and Tuesday which was murder. But I made it and didn’t puke till I was in my car in the parking lot lol

So on Wednesday the 5th, I was talking to my mom and Amber and they said I should go to the doctor. So Wednesday morning I made an appointment and drove myself to it. When I got to RGH they decided they wanted to admit me because I was so dehydrated. They gave me a CT scan to see what was going on with me and they found abscesses. So they said I needed to get flown to a bigger hospital where they could operate and drain the abscesses.

So that night at like 2am they took me in an ambulance to an airfield where I flew on a 4-seater plane to the main branch of Presbyterian in ABQ. We got here and then the ambulance took me to the hospital where I met my parents at like 3:30 in the morning.

So the next day they prepped me for surgery that was supposed to be just to drain the abscesses but once they blew up my stomach they realized my appendix had ruptured and I was septic so they had to cut me open to remove it.

FYI my 21st birthday was February 8th….the day after my surgery lol.

So after the surgery I was still in the hospital because my white blood cell count was stuck at 27 and hadn’t gone down more. I had 2 drains left in from the surgery and they were helpful in removing the leftover abscesses.

After that the surgeon placed an order for a CT scan and when they gave me the scan he decided that the abscess left are small and in awkward places so he’s just left them.

But after days of IV antibiotics my white blood cell count was still high, so they decided to basically biopsy the largest and most accessible leftover abscess. They tested it to make sure that there was no other bacteria or infection and they didn’t find anything.

At this point they installed a PICC line which is a long lasting IV that goes in your upper arm and basically a catheter goes toward the heart until the tip rests in the distal superior vena cava or cavoatrial junction. This procedure was super scary. but it made getting my medicine and blood work done super easy and painless. I was a pin cushion for like they first 7 days.

But within a few days I got both of the drains removed, which is super weird because they just take off the sutures and pull them out…..weird feels.

So after a few days my white blood cell count dropped down to 13.6, but it was still not under 10 which is where it was supposed to be. The surgeons wanted me moved to a calmer floor since I was on the cardiology and infectious disease floor. The nurses on my floor didn’t want me moved because they were concerned that my heart rate was too fast and that it spiked when I did any sort of physical action.

They switched me to oral antibiotics, Flagyl, which is super strong and makes you feel horrible if you take it on an empty stomach.

Eventually on Tuesday the 18th at like 11:30 at night the nurses came in my room and asked if I was ready, ready to be moved…. I was asleep so I had to get my crap together and then in a wheelchair I went down to the 3rd floor. Which is GSU, basically down there you aren’t on biometrics and you get to do whatever you want haha.

I was told I could go home on Wednesday the 19th, but my surgeon sent a replacement to come check on me in the morning and since he hadn’t been following my case in person he didn’t want to release me because he wasn’t sure if my incision had made progress. He said he’d call my surgeon and ask her, this conversation was at like 9 am.

I waited all day for him, my dad came around 11 without his work because we assumed I was going home. I prayed soo hard and I was trying to make deals with God because I wanted to go home. I asked God to make them come in and release me before 4 because I wanted to be home before my mom. I made a promise to God and right before 4 the nurse came in and said the replacement guy was right outside of the door and on the phone with my surgeon. She gave the go ahead and they discharged me!

I had my follow-up appointment yesterday and I’m off of the antibiotics. She said I’m doing great and that I only have to see her if I have a problem. So I’m officially free to return to school after spring break and I’m super excited!

So thank you everyone for your love, support, and prayers. I’m doing great (:

It feels amazing to be out of the hospital and indulge in some late birthday retail therapy (:
Yay 21 (: my surgery went really well my appendix ruptured but I’m on the road to recovery now. My God is good, all the time!

Why must life be so complicated….

I’m not sure why my love life must be soo complicated, but it is. Currently what I want and need are two different things.

I’m pretty sure what I need is to be single and unattached, but that’s not what I want. When it comes to what I want the issue of who I want also arises. But to be honest I’ve kinda already made my choice

I know for certain that when it comes to my mayne daymie, I’ve got it bad….really bad. Regardless of how much I practice and talk to my pillow, when we’re face to face I just melt. All of my training out the window. But I don’t want my heart broken again because that rejection stung for weeks if not at least a month and a half.

The other guy is, more complicated, well different because this crush has lasted since freshman year of college. I was hooked at first sight and it’s gotten worse since then. In the last year or so we’ve gotten closer. But I’m not sure what goes through his head, ever. So I don’t know how to take any of what he says or does.

I say I don’t know what I want, but I really do. I really just mean I don’t know if I can have what I want so I don’t know if I’m willing to make that choice.

I want my mayne daymie to be 100% team Jade, like legitimately sold out for me. It’s entirely possible, but I’m not sure if it’s going to happen any time soon.

I said to myself that I’d wait around in limbo for him and I really meant it. I’ve been waiting and I’ll keep waiting.




(Source: watersport5, via afternoonsnoozebutton)